Feeling very blessed today

My lovely family threw me an early birthday party today. It was thrown early because the weekend of my actual birthday we are throwing a birthday party for Mr. T and Ms. J. I realize that the fact that my birthday and both my kids birthdays are within days of each other is going to make it hard to celebrate all and that’s ok with me. I would rather everyone spend their time, energy and money celebrating my children. So today it meant alot to me that the people who feel that I am important to them made the effort to celebrate early so that my birthday wasn’t missed.

It was a wonderful pool party and even though the weather could have been warmer we had a blast in the pool! The water was warm and the company was even warmer.

I received wonderful prezzies and beautiful warm wishes.

I feel truly blessed today. To look around and see that I am surrounded by people who love me. People who care enough to take time out of their day to come and celebrate me! 🙂

Life can’t get any better than this. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, wonderful parents and a massive extended family that are always there for me. In good times and bad. For this I will always be thankful. No matter what life throws at me I can look at all of these amazing people in my life and know that I will always be blessed.

This is what life is about.

 

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I’ve been slacking!

OK so I’ve been slacking all week! Every day I’ve thought ok today I will log back on with my happy thoughts and something got in the way. Most days it was simply because I was exhausted and once the kids were in bed all I could do was lay on the couch, if I even made it that far before falling asleep.

So I apologize for the slacking. I actually do have a lot on my mind that might be helpful to get out in a blog. I’m preparing myself to go back to work which can be stressful. Both Mr. T’s and Ms J’s bday is coming up in the next couple of weeks.  When Mr. T”s birthday comes around it tends to remind me of his time at Sick Kids. Usually we have a lot of Sick Kids follow-up appointments to go to around his birthday. This year is no exception. So that’s always on my mind.

But for right now, in this post I would like to focus on my happy moment of the day. I’ve missed a few days doing it so today I will not post about my worries, stresses or fears. Today I will end my day smiling.

My happy moment today was right at the beginning of the day. Mr. T and Ms. J were both in bed with us, somehow they both ended up in our bed in the early morning hours. Both woke up well before I was ready to get up. As Mr. C. and I lay there with our eyes closed, under the blankets trying to will both kids with our minds to just sleep for a few more minutes, Mr. T and Ms. J chatted. I snuck a peek by opening one eye just the teeniest bit..not enough for them to notice that I was awake, but enough for me to see what they were doing. They were both facing each other smiling. Mr. T. asking Ms. J “how was your sleep?” and Ms. J chatting away in her baby gibberish. Then with such tenderness, Ms. J leaned forward, smiling , with her little sleepy face and threw her arms around Mr. T giving him a wonderful morning hug. Mr. T was so happy. His face beamed and he stroked her hair gently (and let me tell you Mr. T being gentle with Ms. J doesn’t happen often) and said “you want snuggles?” and they hugged for what seemed like a long time, but may have just been seconds.

It was enough to make me forget how tired I really was, how badly I wanted to just sleep a few more minutes. It just made me want to get up and start my day with my beautiful family. And I did.

Top 5 things I wish someone would have told me about motherhood

So today I am going to rant! I think I am entitled to rant every now and then aren’t I? It has been one of those days. My perfectly beautiful, wonderful, loving, amazing children have driven me completely up the wall bat s*&t today!

Between the screaming, crying, whining, begging, demanding, throwing of food, throwing of temper tantrums, throwing of toys, ALMOST throwing of sister I am tapped out!

In the crazy world that was my life today I’ve decided that while I do want to focus on the positivity and will still be posting my happy moments to remind me that I have a wonderful life and beautiful children, I think that in order to survive I need to make light of some of the stressful parts of motherhood. So let’s pepper the happy moments with some of the more laughable, anxiety filled times that I’m sure fill all mummies days.

I have decided that there are a few little lessons of motherhood that fellow mummies failed to mention prior to me joining their club. Yes they told me about the sleepless nights, poopy diapers, crying babies and all that jazz but they left a few things out.

Here is my list of the top 5 things that I wish someone would have warned me about so that I could have entered this wonderful land of mummies just a little bit more prepared:

5. You will never again go to the bathroom without at least one pair of eyes on you.

Ok maybe never is a little bit drastic but it actually feels like it’s been a lifetime since I”ve been able to pee without someone watching me. Even worse they are usually demanding something of me. Like they don’t yet realize how unfair it is to ask me to stop myself mid pee just so that I can pass them the toy that is literally about half a foot away from where they are currently sitting or to go get them a cookie…a cookie! Honestly child the cookie will be there in 2 minutes you can wait! Screaming fit begins and I of course try my best to hurry my pee up so that I can run downstairs with my pants around my ankles and get the GD cookie just so that the screaming will stop. On more than one occasion a child has crawled up to me while I am sitting on the toilet, pulled themselves up my leg (crying of course) and demanded that I pick them up…that has happened on more than one occasion!!! No one told me this! When I was pregnant not one mummy said to me “Oh by the way enjoy your alone time in the bathroom while you can, once that baby enters this world it will never again be the private room you once thought it was.”

4. You will repeat yourself over and over and over and over 

All the books tell you to talk to your baby, repeat words and colours and shapes. I did that with both Mr. T and Ms. J. I used to think ya I’m a little tired of repeating the same thing over and over but no big deal. Well, little did I know that once they became toddlers I was going to repeat things until the cows come home. I have to tell Mr. T. to do something on average of about 15 times before it usually gets done. We actually thought that maybe he had a hearing issue. Mr. C tested this theory by crossing the room and whispering in the quietest voice he could “Mr. T. do you want a chocolate” to which Mr. T.  came running crying out “yay I want a chocolate” stealing himself away from his beloved Shrek without a second thought. Yet when I ask him to please pick up his cup of the floor, put his cars in the car bin, come for lunch or go and wash his hands Mr. T. doesn’t even flinch. I don’t even see a slight indication cross his face that he has heard me or that he will be doing what i asked anytime in the near future. I can repeat this over and over. The odd time he may respond on the third, fourth or fifth request but I am usually required to repeat the request many more times than that to get a response. And there are many times that I have to physically take him to do what I have requested. Oh and I am aware that the “What to expect the toddler years” book says that he’s not capable of distracting himself from one thing to follow an order like that but he sure as hell followed the chocolate request no problem! So that logic is out the window if you ask me!

3.  No matter how much of a fashionista you were before children, you will have the odd day where you just look a mess

While I am not the kind of mother who likes to leave the house looking disheveled and I do try my best to make the effort to look nice as much as I can, there are days where I just can’t win the battle. I may have left the house looking fresh and clean, only to be peed on, pooped on, had some sort of red juice spilled on me, been forced to get down in dirt, or maybe am just plain sweating from running after Mr ball of energy. There also may have been days where after getting 45 minutes of sleep the only thing I can manage to pull myself into is dirty track pants and flip-flops. Now I will admit I try not to let those days happen but they do happen. AND let me tell you they happened more after the second one appeared. It’s much easier to make yourself look beautiful when you only have one, then the second pops up and it’s a whole new ball game!

2.  You will become a punching bag

Literally! From the time they are babies they grab, poke, scratch, pull your hair and just plain assault you whenever they can. Ya ya I know they explore their world by touch but honestly baby nails are a dangerous weapon. Mr. T. actually tore Mr. C’s AND my cornea but poking us in the eye! No word of a lie, he got us both, on separate occasions so dead on in the eye that he tore a chunk out of our cornea! Now that was pain my friend! Ms. J has talons! We cut them, what feels like every day but yet they still grow long enough to cause damage. She seems to like to shove her little fingers in your mouth and pull your hair! On top of that she’s got the strength of a heavy weight fighter on the attack. You would think that after the initial baby period wears off your safe? Uh Uh..think again! Toddlers, or more specifically boy toddlers love to wrestle and will jump you when you aren’t looking. Many, including mine, will also throw the odd tantrum where there is hitting, kicking, pushing, biting (one we’ve never had to deal with) and slapping involved. Sometimes at the end of a long day I literally feel like I’ve just gone 12 rounds and lost!

1. You may have been smart at once, but now you are dumb! Mummy dumb!

I was smart. I really was! Now after spending the day wiping tears and bums, taming tantrums, preventing meltdowns, watching the Wiggles, cleaning up spills, scraping god knows what off the floor for the millionth time, I think I’m actually getting dumber! Really and truly dumber. You add to the above list a lack of sleep and forget about it. I would literally forget my head if it wasn’t attached to me. I’m truly surprised that i don’t fall down more often. Lists and calendars are my saving grace otherwise I would be lost! I spend my day running around like a chicken with my head cut off and just can’t seem to form a straight thought by the time the day is done. So people please forgive me if my grammar is off, I don’t make sense, I babble or just sometimes stop mid thought. I can’t help it. My children are stealing my brains!

That is just the short list my friend. These are all things that no one told me about before I had kids and I wish I had been warned. I’m sure there are plenty others that I could add to the list but for now that’s it. Firstly because I’m exhausted after the day I’ve had and secondly I really am not sure how I even managed to get these words out, my mind is short fusing as we speak.

Please if any other mummies have any to add to the list please feel free! It can only help other mummies to be out there! let’s not lie to them. Let’s just tell them how it is!

So today I have skipped my happy thought but I do feel better letting of a little steam..now maybe I’m relaxed enough to go cuddle my sleeping beauties.

Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer

Today I had a happy day. Mr. T, Ms. J and I had a playdate with some friends. We spent the better part of the day playing in a park, splashing in a splash pad and wading through an old school wading pool. You know the kind? It’s deepest part is only 2 feet deep. Mr. T could walk around freely without water wings or life jacket. Ms. J could crawl around in the nice cool water. It was wonderful.

Whatever happened to those things? They used to have those things everywhere when I was a kid. Now I hardly see them anywhere. I think they’ve probably been replaced by Splash Pads in most places. I get that it’s a safety thing but I had a blast today.

Playing in the sun, sand and water with my little ones is just how I want to spend the last precious days of summer. In a few months when it’s cold, miserable, dark and snowy and I will remember today fondly. The only thing missing was Mr. C.  🙂

My son…the country singer???

Mr. T. has a new favourite song. “Need you now” by Lady Antebellum. In the car we listen to Satellite radio. One of the features is that you can record a song on satellite and replay it whenever you want. So with his newfound love of Lady Antebellum Mr. C. recorded the song one day. Ever since we listen to this song over and over and over. It never ends!

You’d think that I’d tire of it but in fact I love it! Mr. T + Lady Antebellum = my happiest moment of the day! 

We were driving in the car and Mr. T asked me to play the radio (that’s what he calls the song) so I play it. I’m singing along and I take a peek in the rearview mirror and Mr. T. is singing every word of the song! I mean EVERY word. He knows the entire song by heart. It melted my heart to watch my little man in the back seat singing as if no one is watching him..his little lips moving along with the words and getting every one bang on! “It’s a quarter after one I’m all alone and I need you now!”

Lady Antebellum, if you ever happen across this blog, you have a new fan in my 3-year-old son 🙂 And he is just the cutest thing you will ever see in life!

Without a doubt…my happiest moment of the day!

A reason, a season or a lifetime??

The following poem, whose author is unknown as far as I have been able to determine, has really struck a chord with me.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

When Mr. T. went through his health ordeal we lost some friends, some of whom I considered lifetime friends others who I now realize were only in my life for a season.  I have spent a significant amount of time over the past 3 years analyzing the breakdown of these friendships and wondering if I could have handled things differently. 

These breakups, as I have come to think of them as, have impacted me in different and significant ways. True to my personality I don’t think I’ve handled it well since it was a change that I wasn’t expecting. I’ve dwelled on it. I’ve spent nights analyzing what happened, what I did, what they did. I’ve cried and felt angry and hurt.

 At the time I thought that our friendships had come to an abrupt end because of my feelings towards their reactions to Mr. T’s hospital stay. That whole ordeal was the single worst time in my life. While we were surrounded by a wonderful group of family and friends who were ready to support us in whatever way we needed, these friends seemed to be absent during those weeks.

The distance continued to grow once Mr. T. was home from the hospital. Phone calls and visits were few and far between. Our lives just seemed to drift down different paths and we didn’t seem to be able to meet back in the middle.

I have some advice to give if you are finding yourself dealing with a friend in need. Don’t ask if they need anything. During a life change or trauma many people don’t even know what it is they need. They can’t answer that question so most of the time will say nothing. Think of what you yourself might need during a difficult time and depending on the relationship you have with the individual just act. Bring them meals if they are staying in a hospital because hospital food is horrible, unhealthy and expensive. A nice home cooked meal is wonderful when you have been living in a hospital for weeks on end. If you are close enough and have a key to their home, water their lawn, bring in their mail or take care of their home. Once they return home and don’t have piles of mail to sort through, an overgrown lawn to tend to or a dead garden to deal with they will appreciate the help and probably hadn’t even thought of those things. Make the time to pay them a visit in the hospital. Doesn’t have to be a long one but just the fact that you are there will show them that you care. It  can help bring up their spirits and will probably make them feel as if they aren’t in this alone.  I promise you it won’t hurt.

All these years later I think what I’m seeing is that the end of our friendship wasn’t based solely on the fact that they weren’t there for us during a time of need but rather because these friends just weren’t meant to be a part of us for a lifetime. They were in our lives for a reason or a season. While they were in our lives their friendship meant the world to us. We loved them as though they were family. I cherish my memories with them, and we did make good memories. I am now over the hurt and anger and I will look back on the time that we spent together and remember all the good times we shared. The laughter and tears. I will mourn the death of our friendship but it is now time to move on.

We have since made new friends. Friends who are sharing our lives and bringing us new wonderful memories. Hopefully these friends will be in our lives for a lifetime but if not I will cherish our time together just the same.

I now question what type of friend I am. Am I a reason, a season or a lifetime? I’d like to strive to be a lifetime but I realize that I will enter relationships throughout my life that are just not meant to last a lifetime. I do know that there is a reason that everyone enters my life and that I enter others lives.

Take some time to examine some of the relationships that may have come and gone in your lives? Were these people reasons, seasons or lifetimes. Sometimes the end of a friendship can be difficult to get over but maybe the poem I shared above can shed some light onto why the relationship ended and bring you a little comfort while you grieve for a friendship lost.

My happy thought today is in remembering some of the wonderful moments that I’ve shared with friends past. I’ve been lucky enough to have had some wonderful people enter my life. Though we may not be a part of each other anymore I did share laughs, good times and plenty of happy memories with some very good people. As the movie reals of friends gone by play in my mind I sit here and smile. 🙂


Happy moment for the day

This will be short and sweet. My happiest moment of the day was spent reading stories with Mr. T. before bed. I love reading and it seems as though my children may be showing signs of loving books too. Especially Mr. T.

Today we cuddled in bed, under the covers, and read together. I read to him and he “read” to me, repeating what I had just said to him. Then we turned out the lights and cuddled for a few more minutes before I left him to fall asleep.

It was the happiest moment of my day today.

Reason #3 that my life is full of wonderful things!

Day three of my little experiment and I’m realizing that I might just be on to something. I’m finding that my focus just might be shifting. I’m actually starting to look at the positive things FIRST rather than seeing the negatives before anything else! Yay! If this is working after 3 days I wonder how I’m going to feel after 3 months?? I’m going to be a ball of positivity!!

My happy thought today is two-fold.

I am happy that both my children are GREAT eaters. I do not ever have to stress about what I’m going to feed my children because they will eat just about anything I put in front of them. There has been the odd time that Mr. T. will spit something out and say I don’t like that. I then take it away from him and say Ok  you don’t have to eat it. I’m not going to force him to eat something he doesn’t like. I know that he eats pretty much everything so why force him if he doesn’t like it?

Ms. J. is even better! She actually ate a whole hamburger the other day. A whole homemade hamburger, half a bun and all her veggies. Then she munched on some fruit and yogurt like there was still plenty of room in there for more.

I am so happy that I don’t have to fight with my kids to eat, worry that they aren’t eating nutritious foods and be afraid that they aren’t getting all of the nutrients they need to feed their bodies and minds. Dinner time is not a stressful time in my family. I’m not forced to make multiple meals (I don’t think I would do that anyways but just sayin…) My kids sit at the table with us, eat what is in front of them (for the most part), talk with us, they don’t ask to watch tv, play with toys or do anything other than eat and chat. They tell us when they are done and ask if they can get down…well Mr. T does..Ms. J just sits in her high chair until we take her out. Regardless, they are not up and down and running around the table.  I’m not sure why I’ve been so lucky in this respect but I am and it’s wonderful!

My second part of this is that I am unbelievably grateful that my family and I have more than enough food to eat. Watching the news lately and seeing the famine going on in Africa makes me realize that there are so many families out there who don’t have enough food on the table every day. Parents who are watching their children literally starve to death. I can’t imagine feeling more hopeless as a parent. I can’t imagine watching my children suffer like that and know that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

No child should ever go hungry. How do we let this happen? I was moved to tears recently watching the news and seeing images of mothers holding their emaciated children. As I sat on the couch munching on a late night snack, I felt horrible that we throw away sooo much food and there are people who don’t know when their next meal will be. I made a note to bring a donation to my local food bank, there is hunger going on everywhere I would like to do my small part.

So today I will give thanks for the fact that I am able to feed my children both because they eat with no fuss and because we have enough food available to us that we never have to go hungry. If you are in the same boat, give thanks that you are also blessed. And if you are able, maybe even give a donation to help a fellow parent feed their hungry child.

Today’s happy thought!

Ok so it’s late…it’s been a long day and I”m tired. However…I can’t let this thing slide on day number two so…

Today I am thankful for the quiet hour Ms. J and I got to spend together this morning before anyone else woke up. We both woke up early. Had our breakfast together quietly. Played a little. Cuddled a little. I got some nice sleepy face, quiet morning cuddles with my little princess with no interuptions and it was beautiful. Not even the extra hour of sleep would have been better! What a great way to start my day…and now it’s time to end it 🙂 Sleep tight!

Stay Positive..my lesson for today

The time period when a family has young children is a time that’s often considered very stressful. There’s always alot going on with young kids, especially when there is more than one.

They say going from one child to two can be quite shocking. After that they say it’s usually fairly easy. I found that with mine. Having just one child was a breeze! A walk in the park. Looking back it seems like I had all the time in the world. We went on walks, went to different mum and baby groups, I used to take Mr. T. to movies for mummies. When he was napping I worked out, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, caught up with friends, and even managed to sit down and watch a little t.v.

And then there were two….what a difference! I feel like I spend my entire day cleaning up (although you would never know it to look at my house), cooking,doing laundry, running errands, trying to calm one child or another down. Dealing with tantrums, blow ups, poop, runny noses, screams,and injuries. Trying to prevent major accidents from occuring, trying to prevent my two children from hurting each other over some silly toy. Trying to find new and exciting things to do with my kids together! Something they both can participate in..not an easy thign to do. I am constantly cleaning up spills and thrown food. Changing diapers, wiping bums, cleaning up some sort of bodily fluid. Attempting to get out of the house in time to make it to one event or another, one playdate or another.

Sometimes by the end of the day I feel frazzled. I rarely have a moment to sit. And it’s not even like the kind of thing where you’re just on your feet all day so you’re tired.  It is mentally drained, physically drained and emotionally drained!

Sometimes the screaming and whining and demands get to me.   I often think “what about my needs???” I would like to go pee without someone beside me demanding that I lift them up or get them a snack, or rub their back. I would like to be able to eat my meal in one go…rather than take a bite, get up to get someone water, take a bite, pick up the fork that has been flung across the room, take a bite, go get napkins, take a bite, clean up the spilled milk all over the floor, take a bite…put in a movie, take a bite…get some yogurt…and on and on and on. Before I know it lunchtime is over, it’s time to get the kids cleaned up for nap and I’ve still got half my lunch left uneated on a plate!

I feel like I’m a top. You know one of those toys that are wound up and you let them go and they go spinning all over the floor? I feel like my day is spent being wound and wound and wound and then when the kids are asleep I can finally let go and I spin out of control. I feel so sad to admit this but some days I count down the hours until the kids will be asleep and I’ll have some time alone. I feel terrible just saying that!

I’m not going to lie, raising young children is stressful. In fact, raising children in general is stressful. I haven’t hit to later years yet but I can tell you I’m not looking forward to the teenagers that will take over my house before you know it! Hats off to stay at home mum’s or more so single mum’s! How do they do it? Mum’s with 4,5,6 kids! Mum’s who work two jobs and still come home to take care of their children. Mum’s who even if they aren’t single might as well be with the effort their husbands put into the children.

I am so blessed. I have two wonderful children. I have a supportive, hands on husband who is not just willing but WANTS to play a huge role in raising his children. Who has never shied away from a dirty diaper or terrible two tantrum. Who has taken his children to mum and baby playgroups and been the only dad there! I have a huge support system of family nearby who when I really need a break will come and play with the kids, or babysit so Mr. C and I can go see a movie or do some shopping alone.

 It is very easy to dwell on the stressful part of all of this. The hard part. To get caught up in all of that and to focus on the negative instead of the positive. I tend to be the kind of person who does just that. I dwell on negatives way too much. I was once told that I catastrophize things. Meaning that I can take a situation, figure out what the worst possible outcome of that situation is and multiply it by about 100 and can be sure that that’s how it’s going to turn out for me.  I have a hard time dealing with things that go off my planned path. I get myself all in a tizzy over the silliest things. I kind of expect everything to be perfect and when it’s not I blame myself for that and feel like somehow I’ve failed.

So my lesson for today is not to dwell on the stressful part but instead to focus on the positives. Even when I feel completely overwhelmed by life I think the key to getting through it all is to remain positive and focused.

So what I would like to do is to try and focus on one positive thing every single day. One thing about my kids and my life in general that is positive. I’m hoping that this will help me not to dwell on the stressful part of life. We all know that life is always going to come with stresses of one kind or another and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life focused on the stressors and thinking that if I just do one thing differently I won’t have any stress anymore. I am going to focus on what’s good gosh darnnit! Cause I have a whole hell of a lot of good in my life!

I am going to try and log one thing every single day. Something that I am thankful for. Now I’m going to be the first to admit that I may miss a day here or there. I hope not to but if I do I will try and make up for it the next day by posting two things I am thankful for! You also may find that there will be days where my entire blog post is one line. Just the thing I’m thankful for and that’s it,cause that’s all I can squeeze in..but that’s ok. Cause other days when I have some time and I feel the creative urge I will continue to write and post some thoughts and share some feelings. But I always want to include my positive thought of the day. Let’s see if doing this helps me to become more of a positive person and helps me to let go of some of the anxieties and stress I carry around with me.

Here I go…my first positive…hmmm it’s a hard one cause I’ve had lots of happy moments today that I’m thankful for but let’s start…

I am thankful for:

Seeing the joy in Mr. T’s face when I spent just half an hour playing cars with him this morning. Just me and him while Ms. J napped. It doesn’t take much to make him happy and he smiled a smile of pure happiness to just get some alone time with his mummy today, doing something he loves to do, playing cars.  I am thankful that I was able to do something to bring Mr. T. joy and happiness today.

There, I feel better already…let’s see what tomorrow brings!