Wear your baby body with pride

I was recently reading a copy of People Magazine and was frustrated and disappointed to come across an article called “Body after Baby”. The article spoke about how Hollywood Mama’s got their sexy bodies back. Beside each celeb pic, none of which by the way resemble any new mother I ever came across, was a big circle showing how long it took each mum to lose the weight. The longest timeline featured was 5 months.

Really? 5 MONTHS? Really?

Should I now feel bad because at 5 months post partum I looked nothing like what I did before my life revolved around diaper changes and breastfeeding.

I am so tired of reading article after article and seeing picture after picture of women, or specifically celebs, getting praise for looking sexy again the minute they walk out of the hospital. Why is this even a story at all let alone something that is taking up 4 entire pages of a magazine??? Why am I not reading articles about their wonderful journey into motherhood? How their lives have changed? Their ups and downs. Why are these magazines not praising these women for the ways they are striving to ensure they can be positive role models for their children? Ways in which they are embracing their new role of mother? I guess it’s more important for us to know how long it took for them to get back into their skinny jeans.

Let me point out that every single mother in the article is in their 30’s. Not young 20 something’s whose bodies bounce back a whole heck of a lot easier. But women who are in their 30’s when things just begin to get a little more difficult.

 I call bullshit! Who wants to join me??? I don’t buy that it was THAT easy for each and every one of them to lose the weight. Even if it was, what is the point of this article? To give a pat on the back for working out 3 hours a day and paying ridiculous amounts of money for diet food to be delivered to you daily? Yay!! Good for you Jenna Dewan-Tatum you lost it all in 2 months!  Do you feel better now that you and your little celeb friends have made the real women out there reading this article feel just a little bit worse about themselves? Women who have to work 9-5’s, clean houses, cook dinners, take care of their families. Women who don’t have stylists, makeup artists, professional hair dressers or meal delivery services? Women who are looking at these pictures of you, which may or may not have been taken post partum, and are wondering why they don’t look like they did before they had kids?

What happened to the whole it took 9 months to put it on theory? Why is it considered a great success to not look like you ever had a baby just days after giving birth? Or worse yet, while your pregnant? Is it really a compliment when someone says “You don’t even look like you just had a baby” or “I wouldn’t know you were pregnant from behind”. That shouldn’t be compliment. The praise I’d rather hear is how I’m doing a great job as a mother, not thumbs up for looking hot again!

How have we turned pregnancy and child birth into another way to judge ourselves on the way we look? I challenge us all to fight back against this. I do not want to read another article about how wonderful a celebrity is just because she’s lost all her baby weight within hours of giving birth. Please aren’t we better than this? We are more than just a number on the scale. Motherhood is about more than just pounds gained and pounds lost.  When are we going to stop putting such high importance on our outward appearance?

If it took you two months, two years or if you’ve accepted the fact that your body will never be the same, wear your baby body with pride. You will never get back the time you spend stressing about your body. Own in, accept it, love it. It’s a part of your journey into the wonderful world of motherhood.

The scent of a baby

I held a baby today. A week old baby. All sleepy and warm and cozy in my arms. On the drive over all I thought to myself was “this is going to make me want another baby so badly”. Mr C. and I have not been able to come to a final decision in regards to adding to our family. We flip-flop and go back and forth, usually ending up on opposite sides. Just when I think I’ve made up my mind that I’m over my baby days, Mr. C. decides he wants to go for number 3. When my heart makes the switch and I’ve warmed myself to the idea of a new little one Mr. C. huffs that he’s too old to do this again and declares he’s done!

I thought the moment I laid eyes on this new precious little bundle my uterus was going to skip a beat. She is beautiful and peaceful and pure perfection. She felt so warm and angelic in my arms. It’s been a while since I’ve held a baby that new and it felt so natural. She smelled heavenly! Without a doubt my favourite thing about babies is their smell. I used to sniff my babies like a wild dog. Their little heads, their faces, their toes, they just smell magnificent. I took in her powdery scent and my heart swelled a little.

Yet despite all of this, it seems as though meeting this new precious addition to our family may have actually had a completely different effect on me and solidified in my mind that my family is complete.

It reminded me that life with a new baby can be difficult. Sleepless nights and constant breastfeeding make your life revolve around this new addition. Breastfeeding did not come easy to me and did cause me a lot of stress and confusion. You can read about my experience here http://wp.me/p1oMIA-7f.

Planning your day around nap times and nursing schedules limits when you can do things and where you can go.

I realized that I will never again have the magic of a first baby. Our lives are different now, adding a new baby to our family would change the dynamics of our day-to-day life. Realistically it would probably be more chaotic than peaceful.

While looking in this new baby’s eyes I realized that I am happy with my family just as it is. My children are perfect and healthy, my husband is wonderful. I don’t know if I want to change what we have right now. Adding a new baby to our lives would definitely take my focus away from Mr.T. and Ms. J for at least the first little bit.

Saying goodbye to my kids babyhood has been very difficult for me but I’m almost out of it. Ms. J is going to be 3!! I blinked my eyes and my kids grew up. We are in a place that doesn’t include diapers, naps are no longer an absolute necessity, nursing is long gone. We are able to go on day trips and longer trips without huge amounts of fuss. We can play together. WE go on bike rides to the park and play soccer. We paint and bake together. Movie nights are great now that the kids are old enough to stay still. Watching the wonder in my little one’s eyes has given Christmas its magic back. There is so much joy to be found in my children that I think I can let their baby selves go.

I’m still not ready to close the door on the possibility of more babies for good. You never know what life has in store for you. If I’m meant to have another baby my love will multiply and grow. Ms. J. and Mr. T. will love having a baby around. If that’s the path I’m meant to take.

Meeting the addition to our family made me think it might just be time for me to pass on the baby making torch. I may have to get my baby fix through friends and family. My days may be over but I think I’m ready to move on to the next stage of our lives. I look forward to building our wonderful family memories and spending as many moments as I can with my two little blessings.