Stay at home mom’s killing feminism…apparently according to some…

Did you know that feminism is dying?? I wasn’t aware of the fact that female equality was dying but apparently it is. In the mind of one very opinionated, condescending woman, feminism is being killed by, of all people stay at home mum’s.

To start perhaps you should read the article:

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/06/1-wives-are-helping-kill-feminism-and-make-the-war-on-women-possible/258431/

Where do I start?

Should I start by pointing out how incredibly empowered I feel that one lone woman is telling me what should make my life significant and that anything other than working outside of the home is meaningless?

Should I mention that somehow her idea of feminism is that we, as women, have gone from not having any other choice but to stay at home and take care of house, husband and children to now having no choice other than to go to work. Because lord knows if I’m not out there in the working business world my brain isn’t being put to use. This in turn must mean that I am unimportant, uneducated and insignificant.

I will make a point of saying that I am a working mother, mostly due to financial necessity. I did however, make a career choice to work at a job that doesn’t require me to work 80 hours a week. This was because I would prefer to spend more time at home with my family than to spend all my time in the superficial business world listening to people who like to hear themselves spout nonsense trying to convince themselves that they are really very important. So important that they must be available 24 hours a day, they can’t leave their blackberry’s behind for a moment (even to go to the bathroom) and think by working into wee hours of the morning it somehow solidifies their place in this world.

Contrary to what she might think, being a stay at home mum is very much a full-time job. MOST stay at home mum’s are not Chanel-shopping women who spend their days getting facials and taking Yoga classes. They are amazing, hard-working, patient woman who have given their lives to ensure that their family is well taken care of.   Being a stay at home mum also involves a hell of a lot more than picking up GI Joe dolls and Lego’s.

Making sure house is clean, groceries are stocked, healthy meals are made is just a part of what needs to be done to run a household. Taking care of children doesn’t mean plopping some food in front of them and changing the odd diaper. Many stay at home mum’s are responsible for household budgets, paying the bills, ensuring their families are eating healthy foods to keep them physically and mentally fit. . You are responsible for an entire human being, probably more than one. To be honest, going through all of the tasks involved in maintaining a household is not only impossible but ridiculous as I would be entertaining this woman’s insulting idea of what it means to be a real woman.

Any mum, stay at home or working, knows what it takes to run a house. They don’t need it to be listed out for them so I won’t do that. I don’t feel the need to prove myself.

I did spend two years of maternity leave at home and I will tell you that I never had a harder day at work than my easiest day spent as a stay at home mum. I challenge her to a week of it, she wouldn’t last a day.

I also think it is actually idiotic of her to compare all stay at home mum’s to a small percentage of well to do women who may have chosen to have nannies and housekeepers and may not actually spend most of their days at home. Really?? To try to even suggest that all stay at home mum’s fit into that category is just ridiculous. In my opinion it makes her sound dumb. As dumb as she thinks the stay at home wives are.

Her patronizing notion that being a mother is something everyone could do is absurd. Many women can have a baby but not everyone can be a good mother. Guess what?? Everyone can pretty much go out there and do most jobs but not all of them will do it well. Difference is if you are bad at the job of motherhood you don’t necessarily get fired. Rather, you can completely mess up a person for their entire life, which in turn can lead to further generations of pain and suffering. So yes my dear, being a mother is an important and extremely difficult job.

Regardless, I am very happy that women generations before me fought so hard for me to have equality. They fought so that firstly I had the option to go out there and get an education and a career. I am grateful for the fact that they fought to give me rights over my mind and my body. I am thankful that they fought so that I have choices about the path that my life takes, be that stay at home mum or working woman. I had the choice to be a doctor or a lawyer. I had to choice to get married or not. I had the choice to have children or not.

I do not judge this woman for deciding not to get married or have children. I don’t judge her for the career she’s chosen. I don’t think she is more or less of a woman because of the choices she made. She, however, seems to feel like she has the right to judge me or any other woman out there who has chosen to have a family and to stay home with that family. She is trying to force on me her way of life and I think she believes that she is better than me based solely on the fact that she chose a career over family.

Who is really killing feminism here?

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