Sleep my dear friend please come back, I know I took you for granted, but please forgive me.

Sleep has always been my friend. My best friend in fact. Sleep will visit me on the couch even on fight night when a group of men are beside me loudly giving the losing fighter advice on how to knock the other guy out, even though we all know they can’t be heard. Sleep will visit me even when I’ve promised Mr. C that “I will not fall asleep during…” insert whatever manly movie title he has chosen for tonight’s movie night. Sleep, oh my most loved and cherished friend, has stayed with me all night before big exams and job interviews and other nerve-wracking moments where better people would have been up all night studying, reviewing, worrying.

But I have taken you for granted my darling sleep. I became so used to you coming so easily that I didn’t realize you may not be around forever.  Now here I am without you and I just can’t function. My brain is foggy and I sure am snippy. I barely have the energy to get dressed let alone go for a run on the treadmill (which I so desperately need so that I can lose this stubborn baby weight!) I am so sorry sleep, please forgive me and come back. I need you! I can’t live without you and I promise I will never take you for granted again!

Ms. J.  refuses to sleep alone. From the beginning Ms. J needed to be cuddled, rocked, nursed and/or held in order to take a nap during the day.  This has always been quite frustrating because how can I do this every day when I have a 2.5 year old who has needs that need to be taken care of as well. It has officially passed the frustrating stage now as she has started to demand some sort of holding even at night.  I nurse her as usual and she drifts off to dream land quite easily. The second I put her down it’s a different story, all hell breaks loose. If you were to hear her scream you would think I was causing her harm! All I did was lay you down in your crib baby girl what is the problem????

Mr. T. has always been a good sleeper. I thought perhaps the Baby Gods had smiled down on us saying “you have been through enough my children, we will give you peace now”.  He slept through the night from quite early on. Actually from the time he came home from the hospital he was pretty much sleeping through the night but I had to wake him to eat until he had gained enough weight. Once that happened I think when he would stir  I would pick him up and feed him because I was so scared that he’d not continue on his weight gaining path. Then I moved him to his own room and voila he slept peacefully through the night, probably because his lunatic mother wasn’t rousing him when he would simply breathe heavy! Even his naps were perfect. He followed that 2-3-4 rule and would go down for his first nap within 2 hours of waking up, then his second nap within 3 hours of that and bedtime was roughly 4 hours after that. No rocking required. I would just lay him down in his crib and he drifted off just like those little angel babies in all the commercials you see on T.V. If he did happen to wake in the night, I would simply go get him and bring him into our bed where he continued his sleep quite comfortably cuddled up against his mummy.

Well, that is where the dilemma begins. Mr. T. still likes to sleep quite comfortably cuddled up against his mummy. To be honest it doesn’t bother me. I figure what 17 year old boy still wants to sleep in his mummy and daddy’s bed? Eventually he won’t want to cuddle up against us at night anymore and it’s probably going to break my heart when that happens so I’ll take it where I can get it. Having said that a 2.5 year old sleeps much differently than a baby. I quite often am rolled on, smacked, kicked and a few times have even woken up with a 29 pound body lying directly over my face.  Because of this flailing body in our bed it’s not as easy to bring Ms. J in with us if she awakens. Or at least not as easy to have the four of us in this one bed. All of a sudden our king size bed doesn’t really seem fit for a king.

So now every night we are playing musical beds. It’s usually me in our bed in the middle of the two kids and Mr. C goes into Mr. T’s bed. But it may end up me in Mr. T’s bed by myself or even with Mr. T while Mr. C. is in the nice big king size with Ms. J. Or yet again, it could end up one of us in Mr. T’s bed with Ms. J. while the other stays in our bed with Mr. T. Are you confused yet? Cause I am. I don’t even know where I’m going to end up sleeping tonight?  Or perhaps even if I will sleep!

I didn’t even bed hop like this in University!

Needless to say I’m exhausted. There is nothing like some sleep deprivation to make you feel as though you are totally loosing your mind. I really think I’m actually loosing my mind.

So my darling friend; I beg of you, please return to me. I am coming to you, tail between my legs, begging your forgiveness. I will do whatever you want, whatever you say, if you will just be my friend again. I promise I will never take you for granted again.

These will be my final words tonight because even as I type this, I hear the screams of Ms. J. upstairs and the frantic pacing of Mr. C. across the floor…unsure of what else to do to just make her sleep already. So my dear friend I will chase after you all night again tonight. I hope you can find it in your heart to come back to me. I will be waiting.

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